living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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