Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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