How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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