I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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