The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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