I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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