Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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