Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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