Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
