Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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