marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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