So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
