If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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