I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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