Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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