what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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