Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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