dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I think my nap took me to another dimension
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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