No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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