My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
