More tranny stories later!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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