Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
