hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
