I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
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scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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