I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
