Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
