We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
