How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i will never coherently bang her
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
