Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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