No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Barsexuality is the new black.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
