smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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