Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
