I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
i think im in europe. pls send help
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize