and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
