you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
