my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize