Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
