Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
