love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You're like the curious george of whores
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
