STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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