I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
