Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
