No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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