Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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