Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
