I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
