I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
