How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
