Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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