I'm so fucking centered right now
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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