I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
