she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
