Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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