This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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