Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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