she kept yelling 'call me bella'
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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