It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
