I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
that's an acceptable place to lick
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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