I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
